In my limited experience, I have found that all of the western world is afraid of Calcutta. Afraid of the dirt. Afraid of the beggars. Afraid of the poverty. Afraid of lepers and people dying in the streets. Afraid of being fleeced by some slick Indian scam artist.
Phooey on all that. I myself approach Calcutta without fear, and I hold all Indians with which I have dealings to a high standard. Here's an example: For some reason, I was absolutely determined to see the flower market along the Hooghly River. And I stubbornly insisted that I wanted to see it in the morning light. So we made a date with our driver for the morning after our arrival. Lo and behold, a surprise November storm dumped bucketloads of water on the streets of Calcutta at dawn. Fortunately, the rain had stopped by the time our driver showed up. However, the driver had brought his boss along to explain to us that we should not go to the flower market because it was "very dirty, very dirty indeed."
He didn't fool me one bit. I just knew he wanted to yank our pre-paid driver away from us to haul around some other tourists. I call that double dipping and I was having none of it.
"I *really* want to go to the flower market," I told the boss man. "And I don't mind the dirt." Meanwhile, MS2 is throwing frowns in my direction, followed by the sensible-sounding words, "Maybe we should take his word for it."
"Balderdash!" I said, and off we went.
Before long the driver pulled over and said that the flower market was "just down this alley. I'll wait here."
Three determined steps later, I was ankle deep in mud. I managed to take about six more steps before I was clobbered by a flower cart, probably because I couldn't get my feet out of the mud fast enough to jump out of the way. The cart left muddy wheel tracks all over the back of my legs. Because I'm not afraid of Calcutta, I'm claiming it was mud. Not yak poop. Not people poop. Not rotten stinking garbage. Just plain old mud.
When our driver saw me approach the car covered in mud, he nearly doubled over in laughter. I looked over at MS2 for some sympathy, but all I saw in her eyes was barely-contained mirth.
I'm still not afraid of Calcultta though.
If Carole Shorenstein schedules a rerun of "Oh Calcutta", maybe I'll go. The stories of the "Black Hole of Calcutta" as well as the incredible levels of poverty have placed Calcutta high on my list of places to avoid.
ReplyDeleteI now understand the facebook photo's reference to being run over - by a "flower cart"????? Wow!
I hope you didn't try to improve matters by drinking a gin cup with that British toast "here's mud in your eye"!
The flower mart looked pretty & your thought that the car firm might try "double dipping" seemed right on - they dipped your money & then dipped you into the mud.
Taya would have liked that. The ever fastidious Tolar Bear jumps on our hedges for "bathroom purposes" whenever it rains or gets muddy in SF.
I guess I'll close with "Oy Calcutta" - they at least didn't charge you for the mud bath.
I'm sure it was mud. Definitely. :p
ReplyDeleteI hope it was mud and that you are OK!
ReplyDelete